Stirrings

Every year I pray for a new word to concentrate on for the year. Trust, beginning, faith and love have been some of the words from years past. This last month words have filtered through my mind I have even tried to force it ...but knew they weren't right. When the word is right my spirit is stirred and the creative thoughts begin to flow and many times a sense of direction starts to lay out before me. With the struggles of the past few months not having that "moment" has made  me feel distant to all those around me.. A feeling of being on the outside looking in.
This morning I woke with a word springing forth from my heart. 
   Beautiful
I had my word.
My heart stirred.
I felt a new breath of life.
Not because I am.
Not because it meant this year I would only have beautiful things happen to me.
But because I knew in my heart of hearts that He was going to bring forth changes that I have cried out for.

A Tool of Renewal

When I have a mindset or a circumstance where I need to renew my mind or set in my heart what God has to say. I find a scripture that speaks to my heart and write it as a prayer. There are many blessings that come from doing this. One is simply better retention of the scripture. There also comes a greater understanding of what  exactly is being said to the followers of Christ. Daily I do this for my children, writing out what I know God is or will be doing in their lives.  But dear to my heart ( Although not always fun) is the conviction and revelation of what Father God is saying to me.

This morning I as I was writing in my prayer journal…writing about my desire for certain changes in my life, I decided to write 1 Corinthians 13 as a prayer.

I looked at several different versions. Taking most of my rewrite from the Message Bible -this is what I wrote:

Father help me to have the Mind of Christ.

I desire to respond to others as You would. With a love that cares more for them than myself, a love that doesn’t want what others have.

Father I do not want to be the kind of person that promotes myself. That seeks people to follow me. I want my life to show you , not me. I don’t want to think of how things affect me first. 

Oh Lord I want a love with self-control. That in all situations I respond as You would.  I want to love in a way that doesn’t keep score of the sins of others nor do I want to revel when others grovel.

I want to have the kind of love that takes pleasure in the flowering of truth.

A love that protects others.

A love that trusts You every time. Always looks for the best.

A love that never looks back and keeps on going to the end.

A love like Yours Lord … A Love that will never die.

~~~~~~~~~

While I have written this scripture many times before, today as I wrote it I became aware of an area that I need change.

Hebrews 4:12 in The Message Bible puts it very simply

His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon's scalpel,

cutting through everything,

whether doubt or defense,

laying us open to listen and obey.

For a moment my heart hurt. I felt exposed. But quickly following was the realization that He has known this about me for a loooong time. He doesn’t shows us our weakness to humiliate us…humble us yes… but never to humiliate us. He shows us because He loves us and wants us to walk in freedom.

I will be honest and tell you that I wasn’t miraculously delivered. But I have been strengthened and given hope. He has begun a work in me and He will complete it.

I encourage you to get out your paper and pen. Write down your prayers, use scripture. He will use it to renew you.

 

Blessings

G

To everything there is a Season

Living in the Midwest, we are blessed with the changing of seasons. Seasons mean change: Change in weather, change in clothes, and changes in the food we eat. I do like change. But then, we are all different. Art Girl is always talking about the next season when we just got started in the one we are in. “Mom, I can’t wait for the first snow”--this comes out of her on the first day of summer. As the first snow falls, I hear: “Oh for it to be summer and spending time on the deck!” Then there is number one son, who detests change. I can remember the summer he was 5. He wore long pants and a coat all summer. Nothing we said would convince him that this was not the season for a winter coat.
As mentioned before, I like change. There is this deep-seated need in me to move the furniture in the living room at least every 6 months. In our old house I was known to change the whole purpose of a room. This drives my family crazy. Over the years I have learned to share with them that change is coming. They always think this is a sudden idea on my part. They feel as if the rug has been pulled from underneath them, while all I am doing is moving it to the other room. The truth is I have been planning it for a longtime. But once the idea is formulated and I know what I am going to do, I have to get them on my “bandwagon.” Having a daughter with Asperger’s and a son who is right on the edge of it makes this a job in and of itself. They like sameness, routine. To make a change is for them a change in season--the difference between summer and winter. It feels radical to them.
I am in a long season. I am tired of this season. Someone might look at my life and think: “Well. . . you just went back to college, you are teaching a Bible study, you home school your children, you are passionately loved by your husband, blessed by good friends… What more do you want?”
To be doing what God has created us for.
We know that we have been called into fulltime ministry. God has placed that dream in our hearts.It is there so deep that there are times it actually groans for the desire of it to be fulfilled. We live for the day when this will become a reality. Until that time we prepare, and wait.
The last few weeks have been especially hard. I don’t know why. Thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I know in my heart that My Man and I have been preparing for this…forever. It was the reason why we were created. Yet we wait.
There are several reasons why we are still in this season. God has a plan and He is getting everything in order. Just like my planning to change my living room, He has been thinking about this for a long time. He has shared His vision with us. He has been putting in us a heart for His people and a desire for them to become all they can be. Not what they can be for us, but how we can be used to help them to become what God intended them to be. He is changing us into the likeness of His Son and to have His motivations.
I need to remember that this season is not just about me. That God is moving things around, rearranging, and not just in our home. Once he is done, though, it will be just the way He wanted and it will be beautiful. Just right…and I will be amazed at what He has done.
Be Blessed

I’m BaaAAAaack

Not very original I know, But it’s the truth .

Last week on my first day of going to college my computer hard drive had a nervous breakdown.  I could not get it past the Dell logo. I was blessed that My Man had the day off and I just dropped the stress of the situation in his lap and went on with my day. He did get it going once and I attempted to back up the hard drive. I have absolutely no excuse for not having done that previously. I have three, yes three, external drives.  It stopped in the middle of the back up… Oh well.  The man who had a day off had to reset my computer back to factory settings. I came home from school to a clean hard drive, a computer running better and a husband who wrapped his arms lovingly around me and said in a low voice, "You owe me…and what’s for supper?” He just melts my heart.

Re-installing the programs has been a slow process. And this blog has been on the back burner during that time. Of course I have kept up with Facebook, but that is community… i.e., instant gratification.

My dear man, however, has not let me forget about my corner of the web. So today I downloaded Live Writer and here I  am. And it feels good.

HA!

Waiting for the second installment on the bathroom? Well you will have to wait a bit longer. I am tired of that room and it's not even done :oP

Yesterday I was out at the college getting my books, It was interesting standing in line with kids the same age as my own. One young man I talked with was going to major in theater. A young mom is going to finish her medical imaging degree this year and is excited to see the end. Another young lady is taking criminal justice wanting someday to become a detective. Here I am at 50 and just now starting this phase. I have had many blessings along the way that I would not change. My faith, My Man, my loving children, friends... so much to be grateful for.
still I am excited to be going back to college. This fall I am taking 2 courses --2-D Design Foundations and Modern Art History. As I glanced through Janson's,I was a bit intimidated. I have the full edition and have read here and there for leisure, the difference now is I have to KNOW it. But this is where I am to be.

This next week will be busy. For those of you that have had children, you know that nesting feeling you get before you give birth, well I have been getting my nest in order. Okay I still have laundry waiting for me, but I will get to it ... I promise.
Young man is not happy. First Mom made him declutter his room, then he finds out he will have more responsibilities. All so Mom can be gone. To funny!
Art Girl is excited. Next semsester I hope to be taking a couple graphic art courses, which is what she is interested in. So she is hoping to glean a lot of knowledge from my experience.
Now My Man, he is the best cheering section I could ask for, every time I share any doubt or fear , he speaks life. I am blessed!
Okay well I have been on here long enough, I guess I'll go answer the call of the laundry... maybe...

And remember Be BLESSED

The Bathroom -- First installment

It seems I have been waiting forever to pull up the carpet in our downstairs bathroom. In the two and half years we have lived here, one thing after another has taken priority over it. Which has included: having a hysterectomy (my apologies to those out there who think TMI), my mom's diagnosis of uterine cancer and her death last August, our second oldest falling off a balcony and breaking her elbow and all that entails. So you can see why it has not been done yet.

Well, I finally finished painting the walls a beautiful red.... Okay, the first paint I chose, once on the walls, looked more magenta; so I had to totally redo it. Then I decided to take down the over-sized cupboard that hung over the toilet, and which had only one coat of the red paint under it. So I applied two more coats to that area. Be forewarned: even with a tinted primer, it took three coats--but worth every bit of time. What I learned about me... I am impatient; therefore not only did I have to redo some parts over and over (like where the walls meet the ceiling) but I ended up wearing a LOT of paint.

Next on the list: paint the vanity (and the mirrored cabinet that hangs above it) a nice semi-gloss black. I took the doors off each, primed, and painted. Very pleased with the result. Now time to put them together. First I went with the cabinet doors. I had bought new hinges and at the store they looked very similar to what was already there. Wrong! They held the doors away from the frame. It was late and I was a little ticked at myself. I got out the old hinges (proving my parents right: don't throw anything out because you might need it some day) and spray painted them black. After they were dry and I went to assemble the doors, I couldn't find the screws! So down to the basement to dig through My Man's screw stash. I found some that would work and got everything together. But then I realized I had also lost the screws for the mirrored cabinet. Hey, I was feeling pretty good at my ability to fly by the sets of my pants and once again descended to the basement. I came back up and began to put it together. As I tightened the first screw the head came off completely. Hmmmm... I must have tightened it too hard. So when putting the other one in I was extremely careful, but it met with the same fate. Then I realized that I had grabbed the wrong type of screw. These were meant to snap below the surface so they wouldn't show or be felt. I now had to figure out how to get them out and get the right screws in.

That done, it was time to hang the cabinet back up. Trying to put it back up, we realized that the new light fixture we had put up was in the way. Totally my fault as My Man and his friend had specifically asked if I wanted it exactly where the old one was. My Man solved the problem by turning the light fixture upside down--which made the light shine up--which I actually like better. Ahh...now to put the fixture covers on. Hang the towel rod. And now to the floor....... That carpet is going to go...... Tune in later for the .... rest of the story.

Not just another day

I am enjoying this morning. It's quiet, with no definite plans. Young man is playing the WII. Youngest daughter is off in another world ,listening to her MP3 player and drawing. Just a nothing day. Soon our days will be busy, filled with school for all of us. I'm taking a mental snapshot... this is a mile marker in our lives. We will not pass this way again.

Paeonia officinalis

That is the scientific name for a favorite of mine... the peony. As a child I remember looking forward to their big heavy blooms. It was fascinating watching the black ants scurry over them chewing away at the green hard bud. And such small buds compared to the large flower that burst forth.
They are forefront in my mind today because as I was going through my hard drive in attempt to clean out all the unnecessary stuff , I came across some pictures I had taken of the peonies in our backyard.
I am drawn to them for so many reasons. The smell is incredible. At the height of their blooming season I can sit on the bench that Robert placed near them and I am enveloped. Better than any Calgon moment I have ever had.
The blooms are beautiful. So big are the blooms of this particular peony bush that I need both hands to cup them.
I feel a kinship with this flower. Starting out in the spring with fresh shoots. Something seemingly out of nothing. But it is when the buds appear that the connection grows strong. Our life in Christ starts out so small --you can hardly see the color that the flower is destined to show forth. Time continues and the buds receive nourishment from the roots and the light of the sun. Oh, it seems to take so long for those blooms to come forth. I try not to get impatient. But the floral fireworks begin, beautiful, colorful, fragrant.
I have been that hard little bud, wanting so much to be more, to get rid of all that was holding me in, constraining me. I did not realize that I needed time. Time to be nourished, to receive the healing power of the sun. The day came when I began to feel movement, slowly stretching out, unfolding, becoming who God created me to be, until one day I realized I am open, free, moving gracefully in the breeze releasing the fragrance that He has given me. And then I notice Him, my Father reaching down, cupping me in His hand and smiling.

Taste and See ... They Are Good

I love cheese! I am always finding an excuse to add it to our meals and one of my favorites is cream cheese. I use it to make a light and flaky pie crust. I add it to our mashed potatoes. For a late night snack I will mix it with some herbs , sundried tomatoes, garlic... whatever seems right at the time. I can find a million ways to use it.
This spring my Father had a light stroke and by God's grace he has no lingering affects. But it did make me think. I need to make some changes. One of the changes was to start making our own yogurt. J, you don't have to read this -I know you don''t like it ...but it is sooooo good. The whole process is easy if you have a yogurt maker. I enjoy our morning smoothies more. Do they taste better? For smoothies I haven't found the difference to be noticeable. What I do enjoy is that I know it is fresh and more cost effective.
Last night I went one step further. I put the yogurt into cheese cloth that I had lined a colander with. Suspended the whole thing over a bowl to catch the whey draining from the yogurt. And this morning I had a homemade version of cream cheese. Ahh, what to do? I finally decided to make cheesecake tarts topped with blue and black berries. I substituted Splenda for sugar. I'm telling you, we are making big leaps here. The whole time they were in the oven, I wondered if they would come out okay. To my amazement, they came out looking beautiful, and My Man assures me that they do indeed taste as good as they look.
I am hooked.

Real Age

Today as brought up my page I noticed a little ad under the inspirational Bible verse:
Doctors shocking test: The RealAge test will change your life forever. Take it today, Free!
My Real age?? Do I really want to know my "real" age. With all the body aches I experienced this morning ... I don't think so. But this I do know with all the ways this body is imperfect and aging I am moving forward. I know what God sets before me He will help me to complete it. After all that is Who He is.
Paul shares with us in Philippians 1:6
"There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears." (msg)
So I am not going to worry about my real age. I am content with the fact that each day He is at work in me, changing me, maturing me.

I have been very busy lately, thus the lack of update on my blog. I have been in the process of getting clutter out of my house and getting some rooms painted. I go back to school in August and I want the transition to be as smooth as possible for my family. Even if I am not a physical presence I want our home to say I Love you and I value you. Young man at 11 is havng the hardest time. Even tho most of the time I will be gone His Dad will be here... he is struggling...who will recieve his random hugs and kisses?
Later this month I will be posting pics of some of the projects I completed this summer. Like my RED bathroom!
Have a blessed day all you are loved!

The fire is lit and I have changed into my lounge wear ready to begin Faith of our Fathers. It is book four of Lynn Austin’s series The Chronicles of the Kings.

Today did not go as planned. But I did enjoy myself. Instead of painting I went to my friend Theresa’s to pick up the book. We are part of a Sunday night book club with our church. She is graciously allowing me the use of her book ---even letting me write my own notes in it –that is a true GIRLFRIEND. Once I got over there I enjoyed chatting with her as we sipped the wonderful tea she had prepared.

I feel so blessed today as I think of the first part of Psalm 68:6 ‘God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains:’. God has given me many wonderful brother and sisters. He just keeps blowing me away with goodness and mercy He shows me each day.

The smell of Chai Tea is luring me away from this laptop and back to the chair next to the fire.

Have you read any good books lately? Do tell!!!!

Blessings

I am sitting here typing, dressed but, with a towel wrapped around my head. It is a gloomy day and I really have no gumption. What I really want to do is build a fire in the fireplace and cozy down with a good book. But I forced myself to shower and came downstairs to get my scripture flip book and got sidetracked by the computer. I surfed the net for a bit stopping by some of my favorite sites. Holly at Homebodyholly is a favorite place to stop because we have the same “redemption” gene. She loves to save a unwanted or unused item and redeem it. I needed the push today to get my creative juices going. So while I would love to sit here and peruse more sites I am getting off to get my daily chores out of the way. Don’t worry I‘ll do my hair and face first-that way if someone drops by they won’t be frightened. Then I will finish the painting the trim in the bathroom. After that I am keeping my appointment with the fireplace and a good book. Have a blessed day and don’t forget to visit Holly.

Better with the blog HA hahahahaha
Oh well It has been almost a year and I am finally back. Truthfully because I have begun a new journal based on this site.
http://scrappingangelsuk.typepad.com/365_days/
I probably wont be following it exactly, because I will be filtering the daily quotes through my word of the year "Beginnings"
BEGINnings ... I am trying hard to leave my unfulfilled perfectionism behind. It only leads to frustration,anxiety and fear of failure. When I think of beginnings I see that each day is a new part of the journey. Each thing before me in my day is just another part. It does not define me . How I handle the journey does. Am I resting in my Heavenly Father. Listening to the voice of the Spirit. Accepting with joy what is before me, being content with who I am. In the next few days I will be catching up with what I have already written and then I hopefully will keep it up. I pray blessings on your day

Okay and I thought I was going to be way better with this blog. I guess not :o(
Since the last time I was here I had major surgery ( doing great now) and moved. We are loving this new house. we went from 800 square feet to 1700. And with two adults, two teens, one high strung 8 year old PLUS two dogs and two birds, we needed the room. We now have a fireplace which I love and Robert likes to remind me that it sucks heat right out of the living room.
every morning when I wake I see evidence of Gods amazing grace. Our old bedroom had a 6 foot ceiling; 6 feet 2inches not a fun place for me. Now with our bedroom ceiling soaring at 9 ft I feel like a princess.
I know I do not deserve this... it is a gift. I am so grateful
I am off now to take bread out of the oven...i love my new kitchen :o)

We are back and still celebrating our anniversary :o)
We loved the cabin. Time alone to enjoy each other, talk of our hopes and dreams. Time to pray and praise - thanking God for the many blessings that He has poured upon us in the last 16 years. We went for a walk on Thursday after having breakfast at the lodge. Since this is the off season we were two of very few at the park, giving us the feeling of being the only ones there. It was such a satisfying time, eating & drinking deeply of the provision God had set before us. I think later when I have scrapped a few pages I will put them up here so I can share with you all.

When we got the kids on Friday you could tell we were missed. YES ! Always nice to know that we are needed . It was so good to put my arms around my blessings and to know all was fine. I think we were all in bed by 8:30 with Robert making his usual rounds to talk and pray with them. It didn't take me long to go to sleep. I love my King size bed! Sleeping double in that full size in the cabin was a bit confining. So man did I stretch out last night.

Today has been another restful day. Just not getting a whole lot done although I better get done with this and go make supper. Wild rice soup sounds good.